Can I ask you a question?
Do you ever feel like some people just have life figured out and you’re not one of them?
You look to your right and to your left and no one seems to be having as hard a time as you. I mean it’s not that you wish shit was harder for them per se… you just wish you knew their secret.
Well, rest easy young Queen (or King), I’m here to share 7 life lessons, that if mastered, will make you look like you have life completely figured out.
(Note: These lessons are in no particular order)
Life Lesson #1: Ignore the “requirements” on job requisitions and if you truly want it apply anyway and SELL YOURSELF!
Please don’t take this too literally, folks. If there’s a job listing for a Software Engineer and you’ve never coded anything in your life- don’t apply. What I mean is if you see a job that you know in your soul you’d be perfect for, but you only have 4 of the 6 requirements for the position – apply anyway. Research and find who the hiring manager is for that position and go sell yourself to him or her.
Why is this lesson here? Because I’ve found that many of us are not in the careers we want to be in simply because we didn’t believe in ourselves enough. How many times have you seen an incompetent human occupying the job you want? They didn’t get that position because they were better than you or more qualified. They got it because they applied for it and sold themselves. You need to do the same.
What’s the worst-case scenario? You don’t get the job. What’s the best-case scenario? You get the job, increase your salary
, increase your confidence, and overall happiness. Stop being afraid to bet on yourself.
Life Lesson #2: People want to see you do well, but never better than them, so stop seeking their approval altogether and make your moves—silently.
How many times have you heard this? It’s a sad truth. Most people will cheer for you as long as (in their eyes) you don’t pass them up. When you seek advice or validation from these kinds of people you run the risk of allowing them to sabotage goals in the most subtle ways. Sometimes, these people don’t even know they’re hating. Do yourself a favor and just set your goals, stay silent about them, and crush them.
Life Lesson #3: The absolute best revenge is success so don’t waste your time on any other forms of it.
An Ex broke your heart, so you want to post pictures of yourself going out to clubs having fun. Your coworker was talking about you behind your back so you want to ruin their reputation by revealing something embarrassing you know about them.
Here’s the thing:
In the end, these actions only leave you feeling worse than you felt before and you’ll probably end up tainting your own reputation. If you want to truly get revenge, seek the kind of revenge that elevates you. Focus all of the attention you were giving to the person who hurt you on being the best version of yourself you can possibly be. Karma for your ex will most likely be who he or she ends up with and Karma for that coworker will be the loss of a great friend. Let the universe deal with that energy. You just work on elevating you.
Life Lesson #4: Be unapologetically authentic and stop denying the world the opportunity to bask in your awesomeness.
Be yourself, blah, blah, blah. Sounds simplistic, right? Well, if it’s so simple why are there so many fake people in the world? If it’s so easy to be yourself, why do you claim you can only be yourself with a handful of people? I’ve been told that I have a “hate it or love it” personality. Rarely will you find someone who thinks, “Aw Kierra, yea I know her she’s fine.” No, people either love me or they can’t stand my ass.
I reveal myself to everyone I meet and if I’m reserved it’s only for the moment because the environment warrants it, but if they stick around long enough they will see me, because IDGAF! I will be unapologetically me whether you like it or not. I want you to be yourself with everyone you meet. Everyone. They deserve to experience all your awesomeness! Don’t be stingy.
Life Lesson #5: Stop looking for fulfillment and happiness to come in this very specific package at a very specific time.
Life just doesn’t work like that. That list of your dream guy or girl, any item on it that doesn’t have to do with a quality or value, erase it. If you have a list that says you want a guy who’s 6ft 3in., body like The Rock, head full of hair, a beard, dark skin, sweat that smells like lavender, who loves long walks in the park, knows how to cook like Gordon Ramsey, and will sweep you off your feet by the time you’re 27 in a supermarket while you’re shopping for groceries, I need you to GET A GRIP love, and I mean that in the most loving way possible.
I hate to break it to you, but the God I know and love, is #PETTY! He’s going to send you the perfect man who happens to be 5ft. 11, bald, mustache, light skin, sweat that’s odorless, who loves 10 mile hikes, can’t boil water, and will steal your heart in the corniest of ways when you’re 39 just to spite your picky ass. Hahaha, I’m joking…(not really). My point is, just be open to receiving life’s blessings and don’t try to define what those blessings should look like and when they should come.
Life Lesson #6: Surround yourself with ambitious, inspiring, motivating, giving, courageous people who want to see you win and cut off the rest.
Honestly, by age 25 you no longer have time for vampires in your life. Vampires are friends or family members who serve no other purpose than to suck the life out of you. Why 25? Well, I feel like that was the age where my ability to tolerate toxic people declined tremendously and my desire to be great increased exponentially. Can you relate? Now that I’m damn near pushing 30, if you’re not adding value to my life in some way, I’m like monopoly, I’ll tell you, “Do not pass go, do not collect $200”.
Life Lesson #7: Own your goals and desires and don’t let anyone impose their limiting beliefs and fears unto you.
If you have always wanted to travel to Egypt, go to Egypt! Don’t not go because your friend told you he heard someone got kidnapped there once. Like what!? If you’ve always wanted to compete in a bikini competition, do it! Don’t not compete because your mom thinks it’s a competition that objectifies women. If you’ve always wanted to be a dancer, go dance! Don’t not dance because your grandmother thinks you can’t make a living dancing.
People will project their fears and limiting beliefs on you all damn day if you let them. Your superpower, should you choose to deploy it, is politely telling them where they can shove their unsolicited fears and opinions. Key word here is POLITELY. Don’t get body slammed by grandma for telling her to shove her opinion up her ass. I will not be responsible. Better learn the life-changing art of cursing people out without cursing. If you need an instructor, I’ll ask my mom if she’s available.
BONUS Life Lesson: FORGIVE, FORGIVE, FORGIVE! Even if the person never said, “I’m sorry.”
Why? For you. You forgive for you, not the other person. This comes from growth and maturity, folks. I haven’t even mastered this life lesson yet. When you forgive someone, you strip them of any power they once had over you.
Master these 7 life lessons and I promise you will look and feel like you have a much better grip on life. These lessons, like anything else, are easier said than done, but not impossible. I haven’t mastered all of these lessons yet, but I’m sure as hell working on it. The question is: