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How to Bounce Back From a Setback: Step 4 Rest, Reset, RELOAD | Kierra Asnauskas | Miss Unconventional

When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel like you’re out of control. But there are ways to bounce back from setbacks. In this series, we’ll show you how to step by step. Welcome to Step 4!

If I’ve learned anything from my seasons of setbacks it’s this:

Self-neglect while in pursuit of your purpose is not necessary or cute. Full stop.

Successfully reframed mindset ✔

Reignited the fire within ✔

Re-established Routines ✔

Now what? 🤷🏾‍♀️

Well…for one:

We need to adopt the habit of practicing and prioritizing self-care lest we seep back into the depths of burnout that likely led to the setback season in the first damn place.

Rest, Reset, RELOAD is how we maintain consistent and steady personal and professional growth.

👉🏾 You have a “Growth Mindset” now!

👉🏾 Your fire is lit!

👉🏾 Your routines are set!

One could say you are ready to crush every goal you set in Step 2 of this process, but what happens when you let this newfound sense of drive and momentum go unchecked?

You’re probably thinking “SUCCESS!” right?

Possibly…BUT this is the moment to reflect. Relentless ambition sounds real attractive and trendy at first, but you know better.

Especially when you’re recovering from a season of burnout and depression. The best thing you can do for yourself now that you’re on track again is weave SELF-FRIGGIN-CARE into the fabric of your life and career.

That’s why the fourth and final step (I took) in the 4R’s to Bouncing Back From a Setback is:

Rest, Reset, RELOAD!

I remembered how awesome and liberating it felt when I was making Saturdays my non-negotiable self-care day.

Somewhere along the way we get real lax with the “non-negotiable” part. Before we know it, there’s no time to recharge our batteries. We’re roaming around like Teslas with no charging stations!

We have to be intentional about scheduling rest just like we’re intentional about scheduling our work.

When I think about how I reconnected with that aspect of my former routine, I realized there were 3 ways I rested, reset, and reloaded:

  1. Weekly Self-care Days
  2. Digital Detox Days
  3. Silent Days/ Retreats

Let me explain:

Part of bouncing back is establishing harmony between the hustle and grind of your day-to-day. Those breaks aren’t going to take themselves. The problem with us ambitious goal-getters is that we get all turned on by stories of successful people who allegedly never sleep and work crazy hours to achieve the highest levels of success. We think that’s how it’s done until we try it and epically fail.

“Self-care and Sloth are NOT the same.”

If we continue to glorify this toxic hustle culture that’s leading to record highs of anxiety and depression, we’re going to miss the real beauty of what our life could look like.

Establishing one self-care day a week can make a huge difference in our quality of life. I remember a while ago recommending this to one of my clients and she looked at me stunned and damn near gasped. It was as if she felt on a visceral level that if she took an entire day off each week to be just a little selfish, the entire world would cease to spin!

I wish I was exaggerating.

We’ve been conditioned to live to work, instead of working to live and we wonder why those seasons of chronic stress creep in when we least expect it. The body (and mind) keeps every score. Remember that.

Designating a day a month for a digital detox can heal unseen wounds we didn’t even know we had! We all are developing an unhealthy relationship with technology and social media, whether we want to admit it or not. It’s time to take a day each month and banish all technology. I’m devastated to admit that when I was marinating in my season of setbacks, I binged GOT, Person of Interest, Scandal…all types of shows. This was the behavior of someone who had gone damn near 6 years without watching TV!

Now that was Sloth…one of the seven deadly sins and I was ashamed. Cal Newport came creeping back in my ear telling me to take back control!

There was one other way that felt radical and foreign, but definitely helped me reload and that was scheduling periodic days of complete silence. Nothing in. Nothing out. Have you ever tried it? I’m talking in complete silence. The only thing you can hear, the only content you can consume is God’s whisper. When I tell you this is true euphoria… Honestly, I’m overdue for one

“Sitting in silence is the secret to experiencing the essence of your soul.”

Now, scheduling weekly self-care moments, monthly digital detoxes, and quarterly silent retreats may sound like a recipe for sinking back into slumber, I assure you it’s the opposite that happens for me. I come back feeling energized, clear, and ready to take on the world.

If you’re reading all of this and you’re like my client, you can’t even imagine how to even begin implementing all these forms of self-care, don’t worry. I’ll share with you the way I approached it as a basis and you can tweak it to suit your needs.

Here’s a mini Selfish Guide to Self-Care Days:

  1. Write a list of things you’ve been dying to do or try and call it your Self-Care Bucket List.
  2. Delegate, delegate, delegate all the household tasks you’d normally take care of.
  3. Give yourself permission to indulge in at least one guilty pleasure.
  4. Permission to do NOTHING granted.

It’s not really rocket science. Just start here. If you’re lost, read books on self-care to get you started.

When it comes to scheduling digital detox days, I approached this by removing the following for a 24-hour period:

📴 Phone

💻🔌 Laptop

📺🔌 TV

🎙🔌 Digital Learning Tools

I replaced all of these with physical books, journals, long walks, and actual for real “IRL” conversations! It was glorious.

And you know me! I turned my S.I.L.E.N.T. Day into an acronym! Something you can remember and start with if you don’t know what you’d do during your day of silence. S.I.L.E.N.T. stands for:

Sit still and alone

Invite God to speak (assuming you believe)

Listen. Don’t talk.

Empty your mind of past and future thoughts. Focus on the present.

Notice thoughts that are harder to release. Acknowledge them. Don’t fight.

Take a walk in nature and let your environment speak to you.

Feel free to adopt whatever feels right to you. These are just suggestions, but ultimately you have to define what it means to rest, reset, and reload. I’m sharing these hacks with you as inspiration, but you are encouraged to design a self-care system that will match your personality, passions, and purpose. I can teach you how in Module 5: Uplevel Your Systems in my CONQUER Your Chaos Crash Course.

I hope reading all these steps of the 4R’s framework has helped you in some way learn to combat those seasons of chaos from which none of us are immune. The goal with this series was to give you something real and tangible. No fluff. No theory. Just things I’ve actually done and recommended to others that have worked! How you choose to implement what I touched on will be entirely up to you. If you need help CONQUERing your Chaos and reclaiming your T.E.A. that’s what the course is for.

I’m ready when you are…

“Are you ready to fully embrace this fourth “R” of the 4R’s to Bouncing Back Framework?”

Step 1: Reframe Your Mindset

Step 2: Reignite the Fire Within

Step 3: Re-establish Routines

Step 4: Rest, Reset, & RELOAD

I’m not going to say that it will be easy to implement all of these steps. It won’t! If it were easy, I wouldn’t even have bothered to share it. We are not expected, nor is it recommended to do this alone. As I’ve stated before, if you are not in the position to hire a Productivity Coach, then find a reliable accountability partner that will commit to accompanying you on this self-improvement journey. We win together, not solo.

Here are the last 7 journal prompts you can write about for the next week to jumpstart your rest, reset, and reload process:

  1. What does self-care really mean to me? (If you think it’s a bunch of woo woo bullshit, write that! Be honest.)
  2. What are some activities I’d enjoy doing for myself, by myself? (If you want, you can also include some activities you’d do with family and friends that could be fun and stress-free. )
  3. If I had to go 24 hours without any form of technology, how would I spend my time? (Think long and hard about this. It’s not as easy as it sounds.)
  4. What are my thoughts on “being selfish”? (Unpack this.)
  5. If I had to be silent for a day, no content consumption and no speaking, how would I spend my time? (Do you think you’d even be able to do it? Describe what the day would entail.)
  6. What obstacles or challenges do you think you’ll face by establishing a self-care system? (This is a great question to ask yourself so you can then address how you plan to overcome it should the challenge actually arise. I call it a preemptive strike!)
  7. How has this series changed your perspective on seasons of setbacks and chaos? (Assuming you’ve read or listened to all 4 parts.)

Just add these journal prompts to your daily journaling practice (if you have one) and be honest with yourself.

Please keep in mind, I am just sharing some of the things I did to get through difficult times. I am not a licensed therapist and these tips are for educational purposes only. Consult with a therapist if you need to and remember, you are not alone. Even the best of us experience seasons of sadness and stagnation. It’s what we do to emerge from those seasons that help pave our path back to the center.

If you’re in a season of setbacks right now, check out my previous article “How to Bounce Back From a Setback: Step 3: Re-establish Routines”

Don’t forget to grab your free RELOAD Cheatsheet! Get it here

CONTINUE READING

How to Bounce Back From a Setback: Step 3 Re-establish Routines | Kierra Asnauskas | Miss Unconventional | Credits to pexels-tara-winstead-6690924

When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel like you’re out of control. But there are ways to bounce back from setbacks. In this series, we’ll show you how to step by step. Welcome to Step 3!

What happens after you successfully reframe your mindset AND reignite the fire within? Is it smooth sailing from there? Does life just begin to fall into place?

Not quite…

Once that fire is going again, you’ll need the tools and habits to help it stay lit🔥.

Re-Establishing Routines and systems that support your ambitions is the natural next step in this process.

We can have the best of intentions, but if our environment, habits, and systems are all out of whack, we have no chance of getting back on track.

That said…

The third step (I took) in the 4R’s to Bouncing Back From a Setback:

I re-established my rebel routines! (and made them NON-negotiable)

What does that mean exactly?

It means what you think it means. It means I had to be like Stella and get my gotdamn groove back (if you don’t get that reference, I’m not sure we can be friends 😅). That “groove” was abandoned along with my ambitions and I knew it was time to reclaim it.

When I think about how I did that, I realized there were 3 key elements for re-establishing my routines (in fact, I teach them to my clients inside of the CONQUER Your Chaos Crash Course):

  1. Master Your Mornings
  2. Elevate Your Evenings
  3. C.R.U.S.H. Your Days

Let me explain:

Part of bouncing back is filling your cup in the morning and starting your days knowing exactly how you plan to move the needle in your life and business. It’s about reclaiming control over the most precious part of your day and setting the tone. Have you ever heard the adage,

“How you start your day is likely how you’ll end it.”

So many things in life, we can’t control. Our mornings are not one of them.

Believe it or not, reclaiming control over your evenings and how you wind down is a key element in bouncing back too. Why? For many reasons. To this day, I’m surprised evening routines aren’t talked about as much as morning routines. When elevating your evenings, you can make time for self-care activities; recover from the stresses of the day; prepare for the following day; evaluate your efforts and if you determine you fell short, resolve to do better tomorrow.

“When you fail to prepare, you plan to fail.”

“…And what about the time in between?” You ask!

Well, you C.R.U.S.H. it! You put systems in place to keep the main thing the main thing (whatever that is for you) and you work that system. This is about being selective with what you choose to put on your docket from day-to-day. This is about ensuring you are prioritizing your needle-moving tasks and getting the RIGHT things done, at the RIGHT time for the RIGHT reasons. The essence of Productivity. Burnout NOT necessary or required.

“Productivity = Getting the RIGHT things done, at the RIGHT time, for the RIGHT reasons, in the RIGHT way for YOU.”

Now, mastering your mornings, elevating your evenings, and C.R.U.S.H.ing your days sounds “simple” enough, but what does it all entail?

I’m so happy you asked.

When I fell off the wagon, I realized I needed to resort back to the routines I had when I was thriving! I immediately thought about the first quarter of 2020 when I had adopted a morning, evening, and daily schedule that made me feel like a million bucks! Seriously, that year, routine-wise, was one of my best years to date! It was so awesome in fact, that I created Module 1 of my CONQUER Your Chaos Crash Course based on those routines and what I learned from that ultra-productive period of my life.

My morning routine was called the G.R.E.A.T. Morning Routine. It’s an acronym that stands for:

Gratitude

Read

Exercise

Activate Boss Mode

Talk to 1 Person Who Brings You Joy.

I friggin love this routine. One thing not reflected in this routine that I had adopted later on was completing my first needle-moving task of the day right after my gratitude and prayer practice, while the world was still sleeping! That hack alone skyrocketed my productivity.

My evening routine was called the E.A.S.Y. Evening Routine. It’s an acronym that stands for:

Evaluate Your Efforts

Abandon the Day’s Ambitions

Serve Yourself on a Silver Platter

Yield to the Moon

It felt good to finally let my evening happen FOR me, not TO me. I felt in control of how I ended my day and that definitely had a huge impact on my quality of sleep. Somewhere in my season of setbacks, I’d lost my zeal for this routine, and when I’d decided enough was enough, it was one of the first things I re-implemented.

My daily routine was called C.R.U.S.H. It may sound a little cheesy, but it was just a representation of how I managed my time in between. This acronym stands for:

Choose 1 to 3 needle-moving tasks and commit!

Remember your WHY (This was helpful on days when I was ready to throw the whole damn business away 😅)

Use your team and tools to expedite shallow tasks

Simplify your systems, processes, and workflows

Have FUN living your life and walking in your purpose (Can’t tell you how many times we forget to do this one simple thing)

This and other productivity practices really helped me follow one course to success. It made sense to re-establish the essence of all these routines that had previously helped me thrive. I’m sharing them with you as inspiration, but you are encouraged to design routines that will match your personality, passions, and purpose. Your routines should excite you and light a fire under your ass. They should keep that flame burning. After all, you worked so hard to reignite it!

I hope reading all these acronyms and frameworks doesn’t overwhelm you. That’s not my intention. The goal here is to get you to understand the importance of reclaiming control over the most precious parts of your day. Plain and simple. How you do that will be unique to you. If you need help customizing your own rebel routines, that’s what the Test Drive is for!

I may be a Productivity Coach and Lifestyle Design Strategist, but

that doesn’t mean I’m immune to seasons of setbacks and chaos. I just have a little experience getting myself and my clients out of those seasons so we’re not unnecessarily prolonging the pain! I’m trying to equip you with the tools to do the same.

Anyway…

So, now that you understand how important it is to re-establish your routines, my question for you is,

“Are you ready to fully embrace this third “R” of the 4R’s to Bouncing Back Framework?”

I’m not going to say that it will be easy to remain consistent with these habits and routines. It won’t! If it was easy, I wouldn’t even have a business. You are not expected, nor is it recommended to do this alone. If you are not in the position to hire a Productivity Coach, then find a reliable accountability partner that will commit to accompanying you on this self-improvement journey. We, humans, thrive off of each other’s energy.

As I’ve stated before, nothing happens overnight, but here are 7 journal prompts you can write about for the next week to re-establish your routines:

  1. What does my ideal morning look like according to my current lifestyle, circumstances, and season? (Sit with this for a bit. Answering this question requires a great deal of self-awareness.)
  2. What does my ideal evening look like according to my current lifestyle, circumstances, and season? (If you’re not used to thinking about your evenings in this way, think of it as a simple checklist at the end of the night of things that will make your life just a tad bit easier.)
  3. What does my ideal day look like according to my current lifestyle, circumstances, and season? (Think about your career and how you wish to show up. What’s your capacity and bandwidth. What kind of systems can you commit to?)
  4. Would creating themes for your days help ease the overwhelm a bit?
    (Think about the major life and career projects going on and decide if assigning each project a day will help you focus a little more. This definitely helps me.)
  5. Who can you rely on to help you throughout your day? (If you feel there is no one, how can you fix that?)
  6. What obstacles or challenges do you think you’ll face by re-establishing routines? (This is a great question to ask yourself so you can then address how you plan to overcome it should the challenge actually arise. I call it a preemptive strike!)
  7. Knowing what you know now, how would you design your ideal day from start to finish? (Be detailed with this. Set your intention. Write out your deepest desire for this and pray over it!)

Just add these journal prompts to your daily journaling practice (if you have one) and be honest with yourself.

Please keep in mind, I am just sharing some of the things I did to get through difficult times. I am not a licensed therapist and these tips are for educational purposes only. Consult with a therapist if you need to and remember, you are not alone. Even the best of us experience seasons of sadness and stagnation. It’s what we do to emerge from those seasons that help pave our path back to the center.

If you’re in a season of setbacks right now, check out my previous article “How to Bounce Back From a Setback: Step 2: Reignite the Fire Within”.

Don’t forget to grab your free Re-Establish Your Routines Cheatsheet! Get it here

CONTINUE READING

How to Bounce Back From a Setback: Step 2 Reignite | Kierra Asnauskas | Miss Unconventional | Credits to pexels-oussama-elhaidi-5159914

When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel like you’re out of control. But there are ways to bounce back from setbacks. In this series, we’ll show you how to step by step. Welcome to Step 2!

What happens after you successfully reframe your mindset? Do you magically begin to reverse the setbacks you’ve been sitting in all year?

Is it like a switch that turns back on and all of a sudden you’re good to go?

Maybe for some unicorns, it works like that, but from my experience, that is simply NOT the case.

Reframing your mindset is a huge step, but it doesn’t stop there. I had to do something to reclaim the energy I had at the beginning of the year.

What did I do?

The second step in the 4R’s to Bouncing Back From a Setback:

I reignited the fire!

What does that mean exactly?

It means what you think it means. It means I had to find the “spark” again. Not really “find”, because it was never truly lost, but I definitely had to “light the match” so to speak.

When I think about how I did that, I realized there were 3 key ingredients that I leveraged to reignite the fire within:

  1. Reconnect with my Luxe Vision
  2. Rewrite my Goals
  3. Revisit my Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol

Let me explain:

A Luxe Vision is rooted in your deepest desires for the way you want to live your life if no one had a say but you. I had to reconnect with what that was and make peace with the fact that there are many ways to bring my Luxe Vision to fruition. If the first iteration of my plan didn’t work out, I was entitled to pivot and try a different way. It’s like Aaliyah said,

“Dust yourself off and try again. You can dust it off and try again, try again!”

Rewriting your goals using “The 3 P’s of Goal Setting” Formula is next because there’s something cathartic about rewriting your goals to match the new season you’re in and taking into consideration new circumstances. Goals are really just promises we make to ourselves. They are personal contracts of a sort. I set goals before and circumstances that arose did not allow me to achieve said goals in the way I had originally anticipated. You know what they say,

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”

Well I do tell God my plans. All the time. He only laughs when said plans are out of alignment with His will. I feel good about setting them, because at least He knows I’m ready to do my part.

Revisiting the Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol is the final ingredient because it forces us to recommit to our Luxe Vision and the new goals we’ve set to achieve it. It’s the process that takes us from reframing our mindset to getting back in motion. I’ve said this time and time again,

“Motivation does not come from an outside source. It comes from within. It comes from being in motion. The small incremental progression along the way is the motivation we need to keep going and keep moving forward.

I’ll go into detail about what the Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol is, but first I want to explain the difference between Vision and Goals, because sometimes the two are used interchangeably and they are not the same. I believe understanding the difference can also help us to reignite the fire within.

Luxe Vision is the bird’s eye view of your life and business. The full picture. The entire puzzle, not just a piece. It’s the result that occurs when your life and career are in perfect alignment with your personality, your passions, and your purpose. The sum total.

Goals are guideposts. They are mere pieces of the puzzle that come in different shapes, sizes, and colors. They represent a step in the right direction. You may choose a piece of the puzzle and realize it doesn’t fit in the place you tried to place it, so try another and another until you find the right piece. You’re equipped with all the pieces, but maybe you decided to start with the corners because you thought that would be easier, but the pieces you currently have represent the center or the top and bottom. Either way, no matter which section of the puzzle you begin to work on, it will eventually work out for your good.

I hope that makes sense. It totally makes sense to me now that I’m navigating through this season.

Anyway…

Now that you know the difference, it’s time to revisit your Luxe Vision. Do you have a firm grip on what your life and career looks like when you are 100% aligned with your 3 P’s? I know for me, at the core, I’m empowering people to stand strong and firm in their unconventionality and lead lives that are in alignment with how they believe they were meant to show up in the world. We have people who constantly try to impose their limiting beliefs and fears unto others. My Luxe Vision is to help people liberate themselves from the limits other people have placed on them. I want to do this while remaining authentic, glorifying God, and serving with integrity without sacrificing my self-care.

What’s your Luxe Vision?

Once you’re able to answer that question for yourself, begin to rewrite your goals using the 3P Formula:

I (+) present tense verb (+) result (+) by (+) date (+) by (+) action = s.m.a.r.t. goal

Example: I send 4 emails regarding my 4R’s to Bouncing Back From a Setback to my email lists by July 31, 2022 by sharing one “R” at a time = s.m.a.r.t. goal

This goal may not be the ONLY thing I need to do to work towards my Luxe Vision, but if even one person is liberated by this series, it’s a step in the right direction. Get it?

Then, it’s time to get back into the game by following the 6-step Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol. What’s that?

Well, this is what D.E.S.I.G.N. stands for:

Determine who you want to be, what you want, & how you will get it.

Establish your purpose; explore your passion(s).

Set smart goals for each area of life.

Illustrate your goals with intention (vision board).

Guarantee your success by including God and taking inspired action.

Never do it alone.

Follow these steps and you are sure to reignite the fire you had before life handed you lemons and shitted all over your flame.

I’m not going to say that things will be all sunshine and rainbows after this either (there are still two more “Rs” to discuss) but I am saying you’ll start to feel like you again. We humans thrive off of hope. This process reminds you that hope is still alive even if you may have forgotten that along the way.

As I’ve stated before, it won’t happen overnight, but here are 7 more journal prompts you can write about for the next week to reignite the fire within:

  1. What is my Luxe Vision? Do I know? Or do I need to cultivate more self-awareness to figure this out? (You may ask yourself this question and realize you have NO idea. That’s OKAY. Self-awareness is something you cultivate over time and if you’re a believer it’s something you need to sit with God about.)
  2. Which goals did I previously set that I now need to rewrite due to my change in season and circumstances? (Goals are not necessarily meant to be broken when you feel like it, but they can be reconfigured when the situation warrants it. Read my book, Permission to Pivot, Granted to learn when pivots are warranted.)
  3. What goals can I set now that will put me back on the path to achieving my Luxe Vision? (You’ve identified what needs to change. Its time to make new promises. New commitments. Are you ready for that?)
  4. How can I share my plans with God? How can I know if my plan and His are the same?
    (This is about your relationship with God. This is about being able to hear His whisper. This is also about having faith that God is in the business of course correction should you accidentally take the wrong road. No causes are “lost causes.”)
  5. What can I do today to get back in motion? (Remember when we talked about the link between Motivation and Motion? Identify just ONE step you can take right here. Right now. Today.)
  6. Who can I invite to join me on this journey to reloading? (Remember the “N” in D.E.S.I.G.N. means “Never Do It Alone.” Who can you invite to hold you accountable and look out for you as you strive to reignite the fire within and keep that flame burning through tumultuous times?).
  7. What will I do if I see my flame starting to die down again? (This is about being pre-emptive from now on. How will you ensure you handle things differently so you’re not on the sidelines of your own life for 6 months again? We can’t completely avoid setbacks, but we can change the way we react to the them.)

Just add these journal prompts to your daily journaling practice (if you have one) and be honest with yourself.

Please keep in mind, I am just sharing some of the things I did to get through difficult times. I am not a licensed therapist and these tips are for educational purposes only. Consult with a therapist if you need to and remember, you are not alone. Even the best of us experience seasons of sadness and stagnation. It’s what we do to emerge from those seasons that help pave our path back to the center.

If you’re in a season of chaos right now, check out my previous article “How to Bounce Back From a Setback: Step 1: Reframe”.

Don’t forget to grab your free Reignite Cheatsheet! Get it here

CONTINUE READING

How to Bounce Back From a Setback: Step 1 Reframe | Kierra Asnauskas | Miss Unconventional | Credits to pexels-karolina-grabowska-4476376

When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel like you’re out of control. But there are ways to bounce back from setbacks. In this series, we’ll show you how to step by step. Welcome to Step 1!

It’s the first week of the second half of the year and I can’t say that Luxe Vision Board is going according to plan.

Your girl has been THROUGH IT!

Honestly, I wasn’t expecting life to slap me in the face like this, but who the hell am I? Who am I to think that I’m supposed to be immune to pain, setbacks, depression, financial loss etc.

Needless to say, I had a huge slice of humble pie, hand-delivered by the Lord Himself.

But the truth is…

I needed to be humbled.

If we’re being honest, we all need the occasional reminder that we are mortal and oftentimes fragile. We all need to reconcile the fact that, yes we are created in God’s image, BUT we are still as human and imperfect as they come.

A conversation I recently has with a dear friend of mine made me realize this fact.

Last year, I hosted a 30-Day Challenge called: 2021 Reloading, where I helped three ladies bounce back from their setbacks. Who knew I’d be practicing what I preach just one short year later.

This year, I’m the one who’s been sitting marinating in a season of setbacks, and now I’m ready for a rebound. I know I’m not alone either.

So, this month I’ll be sharing the 4 R’s to Bouncing Back From a Setback.

Why?

For a few reasons:

  1. It will help me remain consistent in delivering you free, value-packed content
  2. These are steps I’ve personally taken to slowly but surely step out of my setbacks and into a season of come-ups.
  3. I like to share the lessons I’m navigating in real-time, because I know I’m not alone.

This month marks the halfway point of 2022, so I thought it would be fitting to introduce a new series entitled: 2022 Reloading

This series is for those of you who, like myself, had a very rocky first half of the year and are ready to get your life and career back on track.

If you’re still in a season of rest and restoration, don’t worry! This series can still be for you. It’s not really about getting back into hustle mode. It’s about slowly reclaiming the energy and stamina that may have been lost as life handed you lemons these last 6 months.

Each Wednesday, for the next 4 weeks, I will reveal a “R” related to the 4R’s Framework for Bouncing Back. I’ll explain the tip, provide an example from my personal life or a clients’ lives, and provide you with one action you can take to reach “RELOAD” status.

By the end of this series, I hope you’ll feel ready to reclaim this year; reclaim your resolutions; and reclaim your T.E.A.

Are you ready?

Let’s dive in!

The first “R” in this 4-week series is: Reframe.

Let’s reframe how we’ve been viewing our current challenges & setbacks.

They say the hardest battle ever fought is the battle happening within your own mind…

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I don’t know about you, but I resonate with this sentiment on a visceral level. I’ve been fighting a serious mental battle all damn year and it was so close to swallowing me whole. Thank God I have a mother who helped me put my pride aside and fall on my face in prayer and submission. My shego would have eaten me alive if she wasn’t there to remind me that only God can help me through this dark hour.

I had to reframe the way I viewed my circumstances. I’d alternate between these 4 mindset shifts:

  1. The “Seek God” Mindset
  2. The “Seed” Mindset
  3. The “Scenario” Mindset
  4. The “Self-Growth” Mindset

Let me explain…

The “Seek God” Mindset is just what it sounds like. I had to seek God’s wisdom and whisper through prayer, scriptures, and sermons. Shout out to Pastor Stephanie Ike for being a phenomenal teacher to me during this time. I have the type of personality where I feel like I should be able to handle every obstacle that comes my way, but that’s just ego and pride. The truth is, I don’t have to fight my battles alone and neither do you. Share your burden with the Lord.

The “Seed” Mindset is about finding the seed of opportunity to triumph even in the midst of our trials. I know this sounds easier said than done. When we’re in the thick of our tribulations, it can feel like no good can possibly come from it, but that’s often because we’re not looking for that seed of opportunity. For example, earlier this year, I entered into a deep state of depression when I had to move back in with my mom. The seed in that situation was I got to reconnect with a friend I hadn’t seen in over a decade and that reconnection led to me hosting my first college workshop at my Alma Mater and the University of Pittsburgh. #SeedFoundandPlanted

The “Scenario” Mindset is rooted in making peace with worst and best-case scenario of your situation or decision. I found myself thinking about the worst-case scenario of my situation and thankfully the worst-case was always short of death, which meant I was technically in good shape all things considered. 😅 Like…it could be worse. I’d also think of the best-case scenario too and try to make the most of the season I was in. This, believe it or not, helped me a lot. If you have any serious trauma you’re dealing with please consult with a licensed therapist for this one.

The Self-Growth Mindset is about how we can grow through what we go through. It’s about finding the lesson (if there is one) in your setback and seeing how you can use it to grow personally, spiritually, and even professionally. One of the many lessons I learned during this season of setbacks is that I don’t have to suffer in silence! In fact, to do so means prolonging the pain unnecessarily and now that I’ve finally learned this lesson after 30 years on Earth, I can face future challenges knowing I’m not alone from the very beginning. That realization will make it all feel bearable and overcomable! Lol I know that’s not a word, but you get my point.

These mindset shifts were HUGE in helping me get one step closer to bouncing back from my setback. I’m still working through things and healing, but I’m doing so by reframing my mindset along the way. I hope this helps you Reframe Your Mindset.

It won’t happen overnight, but here are 7 journal prompts you can write about for the next week to initiate these shifts:

  1. What does the Bible say about what I’m currently going through? (It may have been written a long time ago, but the messages and lessons are timeless.)
  2. What’s the seed of opportunity in this setback? (In the book, Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill, Napoleon talks about how if you look very closely, there’s always a seed of opportunity to triumph in every setback)
  3. What’s the worst that can happen? Is it short of death? (If it’s short of death it means you can get through it, by the grace of God. It means the situation is not hopeless.)
  4. What’s the best that can happen? (This is another opportunity to search for the silver lining and in my experience, there seems to always be one.)
  5. How can I grow from this? (You can think of ways of how getting through this dark and trying time can actually help you grow and develop. Tom Bilyeu said that growth happens when the body and mind are forced into an environment of adaptation. That environment can only be cultivated in seasons where we are stretched beyond our comfort levels.)
  6. What’s the lesson in all of this? (In my experience, there’s always a lesson that can be derived from our painful moments. We can always learn something. Even if the lesson is simply to let go and trust God).
  7. How can I share the weight of my burden? (This year has been a true test. I was forced to finally break the silence of my suffering and lean on God and my family for support. It was the most humbling experience, ever.)

Just add these journal prompts to your daily journaling practice (if you have one) and be honest with yourself.

Please keep in mind, that I am just sharing some of the things I did to get through difficult times. I am not a licensed therapist and these tips are for educational purposes only. Consult with a therapist if you need to and remember, you are not alone. Even the best of us experience seasons of sadness and stagnation. It’s what we do to emerge from those seasons that help pave our path back to the center.

If you’re in a season of chaos right now, check out my previous article “Managing Chaos vs CONQUERing Chaos”.

Don’t forget to grab your FREE Reframe Cheatsheet! Click Here

CONTINUE READING

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