When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel like you’re out of control. But there are ways to bounce back from setbacks. In this series, we’ll show you how to step by step. Welcome to Step 1!
It’s the first week of the second half of the year and I can’t say that Luxe Vision Board is going according to plan.
Your girl has been THROUGH IT!
Honestly, I wasn’t expecting life to slap me in the face like this, but who the hell am I? Who am I to think that I’m supposed to be immune to pain, setbacks, depression, financial loss etc.
Needless to say, I had a huge slice of humble pie, hand-delivered by the Lord Himself.
But the truth is…
I needed to be humbled.
If we’re being honest, we all need the occasional reminder that we are mortal and oftentimes fragile. We all need to reconcile the fact that, yes we are created in God’s image, BUT we are still as human and imperfect as they come.
A conversation I recently has with a dear friend of mine made me realize this fact.
Last year, I hosted a 30-Day Challenge called: 2021 Reloading, where I helped three ladies bounce back from their setbacks. Who knew I’d be practicing what I preach just one short year later.
This year, I’m the one who’s been
sitting marinating in a season of setbacks, and now I’m ready for a rebound. I know I’m not alone either.
So, this month I’ll be sharing the 4 R’s to Bouncing Back From a Setback.
For a few reasons:
- It will help me remain consistent in delivering you free, value-packed content
- These are steps I’ve personally taken to slowly but surely step out of my setbacks and into a season of come-ups.
- I like to share the lessons I’m navigating in real-time, because I know I’m not alone.
This month marks the halfway point of 2022, so I thought it would be fitting to introduce a new series entitled: 2022 Reloading
This series is for those of you who, like myself, had a very rocky first half of the year and are ready to get your life and career back on track.
If you’re still in a season of rest and restoration, don’t worry! This series can still be for you. It’s not really about getting back into hustle mode. It’s about slowly reclaiming the energy and stamina that may have been lost as life handed you lemons these last 6 months.
Each Wednesday, for the next 4 weeks, I will reveal a “R” related to the 4R’s Framework for Bouncing Back. I’ll explain the tip, provide an example from my personal life or a clients’ lives, and provide you with one action you can take to reach “RELOAD” status.
By the end of this series, I hope you’ll feel ready to reclaim this year; reclaim your resolutions; and reclaim your T.E.A.
Are you ready?
Let’s dive in!
The first “R” in this 4-week series is: Reframe.
Let’s reframe how we’ve been viewing our current challenges & setbacks.
They say the hardest battle ever fought is the battle happening within your own mind…Unknown
I don’t know about you, but I resonate with this sentiment on a visceral level. I’ve been fighting a serious mental battle all damn year and it was so close to swallowing me whole. Thank God I have a mother who helped me put my pride aside and fall on my face in prayer and submission. My shego would have eaten me alive if she wasn’t there to remind me that only God can help me through this dark hour.
I had to reframe the way I viewed my circumstances. I’d alternate between these 4 mindset shifts:
- The “Seek God” Mindset
- The “Seed” Mindset
- The “Scenario” Mindset
- The “Self-Growth” Mindset
Let me explain…
The “Seek God” Mindset is just what it sounds like. I had to seek God’s wisdom and whisper through prayer, scriptures, and sermons. Shout out to Pastor Stephanie Ike for being a phenomenal teacher to me during this time. I have the type of personality where I feel like I should be able to handle every obstacle that comes my way, but that’s just ego and pride. The truth is, I don’t have to fight my battles alone and neither do you. Share your burden with the Lord.
The “Seed” Mindset is about finding the seed of opportunity to triumph even in the midst of our trials. I know this sounds easier said than done. When we’re in the thick of our tribulations, it can feel like no good can possibly come from it, but that’s often because we’re not looking for that seed of opportunity. For example, earlier this year, I entered into a deep state of depression when I had to move back in with my mom. The seed in that situation was I got to reconnect with a friend I hadn’t seen in over a decade and that reconnection led to me hosting my first college workshop at my Alma Mater and the University of Pittsburgh. #SeedFoundandPlanted
The “Scenario” Mindset is rooted in making peace with worst and best-case scenario of your situation or decision. I found myself thinking about the worst-case scenario of my situation and thankfully the worst-case was always short of death, which meant I was technically in good shape all things considered. 😅 Like…it could be worse. I’d also think of the best-case scenario too and try to make the most of the season I was in. This, believe it or not, helped me a lot. If you have any serious trauma you’re dealing with please consult with a licensed therapist for this one.
The Self-Growth Mindset is about how we can grow through what we go through. It’s about finding the lesson (if there is one) in your setback and seeing how you can use it to grow personally, spiritually, and even professionally. One of the many lessons I learned during this season of setbacks is that I don’t have to suffer in silence! In fact, to do so means prolonging the pain unnecessarily and now that I’ve finally learned this lesson after 30 years on Earth, I can face future challenges knowing I’m not alone from the very beginning. That realization will make it all feel bearable and overcomable! Lol I know that’s not a word, but you get my point.
These mindset shifts were HUGE in helping me get one step closer to bouncing back from my setback. I’m still working through things and healing, but I’m doing so by reframing my mindset along the way. I hope this helps you Reframe Your Mindset.
It won’t happen overnight, but here are 7 journal prompts you can write about for the next week to initiate these shifts:
- What does the Bible say about what I’m currently going through? (It may have been written a long time ago, but the messages and lessons are timeless.)
- What’s the seed of opportunity in this setback? (In the book, Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill, Napoleon talks about how if you look very closely, there’s always a seed of opportunity to triumph in every setback)
- What’s the worst that can happen? Is it short of death? (If it’s short of death it means you can get through it, by the grace of God. It means the situation is not hopeless.)
- What’s the best that can happen? (This is another opportunity to search for the silver lining and in my experience, there seems to always be one.)
- How can I grow from this? (You can think of ways of how getting through this dark and trying time can actually help you grow and develop. Tom Bilyeu said that growth happens when the body and mind are forced into an environment of adaptation. That environment can only be cultivated in seasons where we are stretched beyond our comfort levels.)
- What’s the lesson in all of this? (In my experience, there’s always a lesson that can be derived from our painful moments. We can always learn something. Even if the lesson is simply to let go and trust God).
- How can I share the weight of my burden? (This year has been a true test. I was forced to finally break the silence of my suffering and lean on God and my family for support. It was the most humbling experience, ever.)
Just add these journal prompts to your daily journaling practice (if you have one) and be honest with yourself.
Please keep in mind, that I am just sharing some of the things I did to get through difficult times. I am not a licensed therapist and these tips are for educational purposes only. Consult with a therapist if you need to and remember, you are not alone. Even the best of us experience seasons of sadness and stagnation. It’s what we do to emerge from those seasons that help pave our path back to the center.
If you’re in a season of chaos right now, check out my previous article “Managing Chaos vs CONQUERing Chaos”.
Don’t forget to grab your FREE Reframe Cheatsheet! Click Here
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