When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel like you’re out of control. But there are ways to bounce back from setbacks. In this series, we’ll show you how to step by step. Welcome to Step 2!
What happens after you successfully reframe your mindset? Do you magically begin to reverse the setbacks you’ve been sitting in all year?
Is it like a switch that turns back on and all of a sudden you’re good to go?
Maybe for some unicorns, it works like that, but from my experience, that is simply NOT the case.
Reframing your mindset is a huge step, but it doesn’t stop there. I had to do something to reclaim the energy I had at the beginning of the year.
What did I do?
The second step in the 4R’s to Bouncing Back From a Setback:
I reignited the fire!
What does that mean exactly?
It means what you think it means. It means I had to find the “spark” again. Not really “find”, because it was never truly lost, but I definitely had to “light the match” so to speak.
When I think about how I did that, I realized there were 3 key ingredients that I leveraged to reignite the fire within:
- Reconnect with my Luxe Vision
- Rewrite my Goals
- Revisit my Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol
Let me explain:
A Luxe Vision is rooted in your deepest desires for the way you want to live your life if no one had a say but you. I had to reconnect with what that was and make peace with the fact that there are many ways to bring my Luxe Vision to fruition. If the first iteration of my plan didn’t work out, I was entitled to pivot and try a different way. It’s like Aaliyah said,
“Dust yourself off and try again. You can dust it off and try again, try again!”
Rewriting your goals using “The 3 P’s of Goal Setting” Formula is next because there’s something cathartic about rewriting your goals to match the new season you’re in and taking into consideration new circumstances. Goals are really just promises we make to ourselves. They are personal contracts of a sort. I set goals before and circumstances that arose did not allow me to achieve said goals in the way I had originally anticipated. You know what they say,
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”
Well I do tell God my plans. All the time. He only laughs when said plans are out of alignment with His will. I feel good about setting them, because at least He knows I’m ready to do my part.
Revisiting the Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol is the final ingredient because it forces us to recommit to our Luxe Vision and the new goals we’ve set to achieve it. It’s the process that takes us from reframing our mindset to getting back in motion. I’ve said this time and time again,
“Motivation does not come from an outside source. It comes from within. It comes from being in motion. The small incremental progression along the way is the motivation we need to keep going and keep moving forward.
I’ll go into detail about what the Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol is, but first I want to explain the difference between Vision and Goals, because sometimes the two are used interchangeably and they are not the same. I believe understanding the difference can also help us to reignite the fire within.
Luxe Vision is the bird’s eye view of your life and business. The full picture. The entire puzzle, not just a piece. It’s the result that occurs when your life and career are in perfect alignment with your personality, your passions, and your purpose. The sum total.
Goals are guideposts. They are mere pieces of the puzzle that come in different shapes, sizes, and colors. They represent a step in the right direction. You may choose a piece of the puzzle and realize it doesn’t fit in the place you tried to place it, so try another and another until you find the right piece. You’re equipped with all the pieces, but maybe you decided to start with the corners because you thought that would be easier, but the pieces you currently have represent the center or the top and bottom. Either way, no matter which section of the puzzle you begin to work on, it will eventually work out for your good.
I hope that makes sense. It totally makes sense to me now that I’m navigating through this season.
Now that you know the difference, it’s time to revisit your Luxe Vision. Do you have a firm grip on what your life and career looks like when you are 100% aligned with your 3 P’s? I know for me, at the core, I’m empowering people to stand strong and firm in their unconventionality and lead lives that are in alignment with how they believe they were meant to show up in the world. We have people who constantly try to impose their limiting beliefs and fears unto others. My Luxe Vision is to help people liberate themselves from the limits other people have placed on them. I want to do this while remaining authentic, glorifying God, and serving with integrity without sacrificing my self-care.
What’s your Luxe Vision?
Once you’re able to answer that question for yourself, begin to rewrite your goals using the 3P Formula:
I (+) present tense verb (+) result (+) by (+) date (+) by (+) action = s.m.a.r.t. goal
Example: I send 4 emails regarding my 4R’s to Bouncing Back From a Setback to my email lists by July 31, 2022 by sharing one “R” at a time = s.m.a.r.t. goal
This goal may not be the ONLY thing I need to do to work towards my Luxe Vision, but if even one person is liberated by this series, it’s a step in the right direction. Get it?
Then, it’s time to get back into the game by following the 6-step Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol. What’s that?
Well, this is what D.E.S.I.G.N. stands for:
Determine who you want to be, what you want, & how you will get it.
Establish your purpose; explore your passion(s).
Set smart goals for each area of life.
Illustrate your goals with intention (vision board).
Guarantee your success by including God and taking inspired action.
Never do it alone.
Follow these steps and you are sure to reignite the fire you had before life handed you lemons and shitted all over your flame.
I’m not going to say that things will be all sunshine and rainbows after this either (there are still two more “Rs” to discuss) but I am saying you’ll start to feel like you again. We humans thrive off of hope. This process reminds you that hope is still alive even if you may have forgotten that along the way.
As I’ve stated before, it won’t happen overnight, but here are 7 more journal prompts you can write about for the next week to reignite the fire within:
- What is my Luxe Vision? Do I know? Or do I need to cultivate more self-awareness to figure this out? (You may ask yourself this question and realize you have NO idea. That’s OKAY. Self-awareness is something you cultivate over time and if you’re a believer it’s something you need to sit with God about.)
- Which goals did I previously set that I now need to rewrite due to my change in season and circumstances? (Goals are not necessarily meant to be broken when you feel like it, but they can be reconfigured when the situation warrants it. Read my book, Permission to Pivot, Granted to learn when pivots are warranted.)
- What goals can I set now that will put me back on the path to achieving my Luxe Vision? (You’ve identified what needs to change. Its time to make new promises. New commitments. Are you ready for that?)
- How can I share my plans with God? How can I know if my plan and His are the same?
(This is about your relationship with God. This is about being able to hear His whisper. This is also about having faith that God is in the business of course correction should you accidentally take the wrong road. No causes are “lost causes.”)
- What can I do today to get back in motion? (Remember when we talked about the link between Motivation and Motion? Identify just ONE step you can take right here. Right now. Today.)
- Who can I invite to join me on this journey to reloading? (Remember the “N” in D.E.S.I.G.N. means “Never Do It Alone.” Who can you invite to hold you accountable and look out for you as you strive to reignite the fire within and keep that flame burning through tumultuous times?).
- What will I do if I see my flame starting to die down again? (This is about being pre-emptive from now on. How will you ensure you handle things differently so you’re not on the sidelines of your own life for 6 months again? We can’t completely avoid setbacks, but we can change the way we react to the them.)
Just add these journal prompts to your daily journaling practice (if you have one) and be honest with yourself.
Please keep in mind, I am just sharing some of the things I did to get through difficult times. I am not a licensed therapist and these tips are for educational purposes only. Consult with a therapist if you need to and remember, you are not alone. Even the best of us experience seasons of sadness and stagnation. It’s what we do to emerge from those seasons that help pave our path back to the center.
If you’re in a season of chaos right now, check out my previous article “How to Bounce Back From a Setback: Step 1: Reframe”.
Don’t forget to grab your free Reignite Cheatsheet! Get it here