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How to Bounce Back From a Setback: Step 2 Reignite | Kierra Asnauskas | Miss Unconventional | Credits to pexels-oussama-elhaidi-5159914

When things don’t go as planned, it’s easy to feel like you’re out of control. But there are ways to bounce back from setbacks. In this series, we’ll show you how to step by step. Welcome to Step 2!

What happens after you successfully reframe your mindset? Do you magically begin to reverse the setbacks you’ve been sitting in all year?

Is it like a switch that turns back on and all of a sudden you’re good to go?

Maybe for some unicorns, it works like that, but from my experience, that is simply NOT the case.

Reframing your mindset is a huge step, but it doesn’t stop there. I had to do something to reclaim the energy I had at the beginning of the year.

What did I do?

The second step in the 4R’s to Bouncing Back From a Setback:

I reignited the fire!

What does that mean exactly?

It means what you think it means. It means I had to find the “spark” again. Not really “find”, because it was never truly lost, but I definitely had to “light the match” so to speak.

When I think about how I did that, I realized there were 3 key ingredients that I leveraged to reignite the fire within:

  1. Reconnect with my Luxe Vision
  2. Rewrite my Goals
  3. Revisit my Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol

Let me explain:

A Luxe Vision is rooted in your deepest desires for the way you want to live your life if no one had a say but you. I had to reconnect with what that was and make peace with the fact that there are many ways to bring my Luxe Vision to fruition. If the first iteration of my plan didn’t work out, I was entitled to pivot and try a different way. It’s like Aaliyah said,

“Dust yourself off and try again. You can dust it off and try again, try again!”

Rewriting your goals using “The 3 P’s of Goal Setting” Formula is next because there’s something cathartic about rewriting your goals to match the new season you’re in and taking into consideration new circumstances. Goals are really just promises we make to ourselves. They are personal contracts of a sort. I set goals before and circumstances that arose did not allow me to achieve said goals in the way I had originally anticipated. You know what they say,

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”

Well I do tell God my plans. All the time. He only laughs when said plans are out of alignment with His will. I feel good about setting them, because at least He knows I’m ready to do my part.

Revisiting the Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol is the final ingredient because it forces us to recommit to our Luxe Vision and the new goals we’ve set to achieve it. It’s the process that takes us from reframing our mindset to getting back in motion. I’ve said this time and time again,

“Motivation does not come from an outside source. It comes from within. It comes from being in motion. The small incremental progression along the way is the motivation we need to keep going and keep moving forward.

I’ll go into detail about what the Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol is, but first I want to explain the difference between Vision and Goals, because sometimes the two are used interchangeably and they are not the same. I believe understanding the difference can also help us to reignite the fire within.

Luxe Vision is the bird’s eye view of your life and business. The full picture. The entire puzzle, not just a piece. It’s the result that occurs when your life and career are in perfect alignment with your personality, your passions, and your purpose. The sum total.

Goals are guideposts. They are mere pieces of the puzzle that come in different shapes, sizes, and colors. They represent a step in the right direction. You may choose a piece of the puzzle and realize it doesn’t fit in the place you tried to place it, so try another and another until you find the right piece. You’re equipped with all the pieces, but maybe you decided to start with the corners because you thought that would be easier, but the pieces you currently have represent the center or the top and bottom. Either way, no matter which section of the puzzle you begin to work on, it will eventually work out for your good.

I hope that makes sense. It totally makes sense to me now that I’m navigating through this season.

Anyway…

Now that you know the difference, it’s time to revisit your Luxe Vision. Do you have a firm grip on what your life and career looks like when you are 100% aligned with your 3 P’s? I know for me, at the core, I’m empowering people to stand strong and firm in their unconventionality and lead lives that are in alignment with how they believe they were meant to show up in the world. We have people who constantly try to impose their limiting beliefs and fears unto others. My Luxe Vision is to help people liberate themselves from the limits other people have placed on them. I want to do this while remaining authentic, glorifying God, and serving with integrity without sacrificing my self-care.

What’s your Luxe Vision?

Once you’re able to answer that question for yourself, begin to rewrite your goals using the 3P Formula:

I (+) present tense verb (+) result (+) by (+) date (+) by (+) action = s.m.a.r.t. goal

Example: I send 4 emails regarding my 4R’s to Bouncing Back From a Setback to my email lists by July 31, 2022 by sharing one “R” at a time = s.m.a.r.t. goal

This goal may not be the ONLY thing I need to do to work towards my Luxe Vision, but if even one person is liberated by this series, it’s a step in the right direction. Get it?

Then, it’s time to get back into the game by following the 6-step Lifestyle D.E.S.I.G.N. Protocol. What’s that?

Well, this is what D.E.S.I.G.N. stands for:

Determine who you want to be, what you want, & how you will get it.

Establish your purpose; explore your passion(s).

Set smart goals for each area of life.

Illustrate your goals with intention (vision board).

Guarantee your success by including God and taking inspired action.

Never do it alone.

Follow these steps and you are sure to reignite the fire you had before life handed you lemons and shitted all over your flame.

I’m not going to say that things will be all sunshine and rainbows after this either (there are still two more “Rs” to discuss) but I am saying you’ll start to feel like you again. We humans thrive off of hope. This process reminds you that hope is still alive even if you may have forgotten that along the way.

As I’ve stated before, it won’t happen overnight, but here are 7 more journal prompts you can write about for the next week to reignite the fire within:

  1. What is my Luxe Vision? Do I know? Or do I need to cultivate more self-awareness to figure this out? (You may ask yourself this question and realize you have NO idea. That’s OKAY. Self-awareness is something you cultivate over time and if you’re a believer it’s something you need to sit with God about.)
  2. Which goals did I previously set that I now need to rewrite due to my change in season and circumstances? (Goals are not necessarily meant to be broken when you feel like it, but they can be reconfigured when the situation warrants it. Read my book, Permission to Pivot, Granted to learn when pivots are warranted.)
  3. What goals can I set now that will put me back on the path to achieving my Luxe Vision? (You’ve identified what needs to change. Its time to make new promises. New commitments. Are you ready for that?)
  4. How can I share my plans with God? How can I know if my plan and His are the same?
    (This is about your relationship with God. This is about being able to hear His whisper. This is also about having faith that God is in the business of course correction should you accidentally take the wrong road. No causes are “lost causes.”)
  5. What can I do today to get back in motion? (Remember when we talked about the link between Motivation and Motion? Identify just ONE step you can take right here. Right now. Today.)
  6. Who can I invite to join me on this journey to reloading? (Remember the “N” in D.E.S.I.G.N. means “Never Do It Alone.” Who can you invite to hold you accountable and look out for you as you strive to reignite the fire within and keep that flame burning through tumultuous times?).
  7. What will I do if I see my flame starting to die down again? (This is about being pre-emptive from now on. How will you ensure you handle things differently so you’re not on the sidelines of your own life for 6 months again? We can’t completely avoid setbacks, but we can change the way we react to the them.)

Just add these journal prompts to your daily journaling practice (if you have one) and be honest with yourself.

Please keep in mind, I am just sharing some of the things I did to get through difficult times. I am not a licensed therapist and these tips are for educational purposes only. Consult with a therapist if you need to and remember, you are not alone. Even the best of us experience seasons of sadness and stagnation. It’s what we do to emerge from those seasons that help pave our path back to the center.

If you’re in a season of chaos right now, check out my previous article “How to Bounce Back From a Setback: Step 1: Reframe”.

Don’t forget to grab your free Reignite Cheatsheet! Get it here

CONTINUE READING

Which Season Are You In?

Are you in a season of managing chaos or CONQUERing chaos?

Did you even know there was a difference?

I’ll answer first! May was definitely a season of pure unadulterated MANAGEMENT. I’m sharing all the tea 🍵 in this blog post so if you’re naturally nosey AND have been wondering where the hell I’ve been, this article is for you.

In this blog post, I talk about:

  1. Everything my husband and I were able to accomplish in May
  2. The difference between managing vs. CONQUERing your chaos
  3. How I’ve become a better manager of my chaos because of the CONQUER method and so much more…

Consider this article an inside look into what really goes on behind the scenes of my life and business.

If the content resonates with you click here to get your FREE “30 Resources Every Productive Boss Needs.

As I was saying, May was a whirlwind. I want to take some time to paint you a picture of what happened.

It started off with me moving from Pittsburgh, PA to El Paso, TX to be with my husband. That decision was made abruptly and I was on a flight a week after discussing it with Ilya, so that was pretty intense.

That move NEEDED to happen for the sake of our sanity and our marriage.

Once I arrived I was on a mission- a job hunting mission that is. As a result, I applied to over 20 jobs online, and probably closer to 50 jobs if you include half of April.

During this time, I onboarded a new one-on-one coaching client who I am obsessed with! She’s that dream client everyone prays for. Honestly, I’ve been blessed in this department, because it seems all of my clients are the best of the best. Not only did she enroll in one of my courses, she enrolled in three different offers. So it’s been crazy managing all of the different deliverables for her. Fun is a better word to describe it, but you can imagine how much work comes with that.

Things didn’t stop there…

We also onboarded a new full-time intern! Shout out to my Integrator Kristel, who has been so amazing in helping me properly onboard our new intern. Riza couldn’t have come at a better time, because we really needed her.

During all of this, I was also tasked with managing design projects for another client. So, it’s been really intense, to say the least.

Do you think it stopped there?

Think again…

About half way through the month of May, God saw fit to bless with me with an opportunity to work with one of my favorite favorite entrepreneurs, Audria Richmond, Marketing Strategist and CEO of UnCloned® Media. I accepted the position of Program Success Manager and she asked me to start right away on May 16, 2022.

When I tell you all everything happened faster than the speed of light, that is hardly an exxageration.

Do you want to guess what happened next?

Well, during the interview, Audria revealed that ideally she wanted to build a local team. For those who don’t know, Audria’s business is headquartered in Atlanta, GA. Where was I at the time? EL PASO, TEXAS

So, what do you think I told her?

Basically, I said “say less sis, I’m there.” 😅 Seriously, I am not even kidding. When I make a decision I fully commit!

We’ll come back to what I had to do to prepare for said relocation.

Shortly after being hired, I took a one week trip to Las Vegas to attend the Licensing Expo and White Label Expo with Audria, her husband, Calvin, their daughter, and a couple of her mastermind clients. It was a really fun time and I’m so happy I went because I learned so much, but that was really intense because I had less than week to prepare for that trip as well.

Are you seeing a pattern here?

Then! I flew back to El Paso from that Las Vegas trip, had the hubby pack up the car, and I drove by myself from El Paso, TX to Atlanta, GAwith stops in Dallas and Memphis along the way. 🥴🤯

Remember when I said we’d come back to how I planned to relocate to GA to work locally with Audria? Well, to top it all off, while all these trips were taking place, my husband and I were working with a Realtor, Ashley Isabel to find a home. Within two weeks of contacting Ashley, we made an offer and went under contract for our very first home! Talk about exciting and divine speed! Especially in this market!

Can we just sit with that for a moment? In the 2022 market, Ilya and I were able to work with a Realtor to find our first home only two weeks after starting our search! Again, all of this happened in the month of May.

Chaotic is an understatement when it comes to how to accurately describe this, right?

All of my productivity training could not have prepared me for a month like this. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:

This was truly nothing but God, period point blank bottom line, I had nothing. I had nothing to do with it. I just kind of showed up and God did the rest.

I don’t even understand how I was able to have the capacity and the bandwidth to do so much. There’s no other way to describe it really. So if you’re subscribed to my newsletter, follow me on social, or listen to the podcast and you were wondering why I’ve been MIA, now you know that your girl has been over here, going through all the phases of life! 😅

So I’ve been busy productive to say the least.

I have a job now and I still have my own business to run. I’m managing multiple hats all while traveling and managing logistics. It’s all been so incredibly empowering and enlightening, because I didn’t realize how much I needed, the shift and the change.

So, while things have been happening really fast, everything has been happening for our good. And by our I mean, my husband and I.

That said, something occurred to me, while life was moving at such a rapid pace:

There are seasons when you can CONQUER your chaos and seasons when all you can do is manage the chaos.

I felt like this was a very short season of simply managing the chaos because to conquer it felt impossible. Sure, there were productive moments. If there weren’t, we wouldn’t have been able to accomplish so much. But truthfully, all I could do was manage my chaotic schedule.

Routines were abandoned

Some boundaries were ignored

Plans were altered

Visions were reimagined

Systems were temporarily sabotaged.

But here’s what I want you to notice…

Amidst all the chaos, some major shit still got done! (By the grace of God)

Within my capacity was:

The art of knowing when to prioritize what

When to break the rules

When to make moves based on intuition (AKA God’s whisper)

When to base them on logic

It also helped that my husband is thebombdotcom and my Integrator Kristel, is literally a Godsend. Love them both!

Anyway, I wanted to share all of this with you all because I know it is NOT possible to CONQUER your chaos all the time, but let me tell you something:

The only reason I knew how to manage my chaos is because I had done the work required to conquer it at one point.

So, the experience I’ve had conquering my own chaotic schedule, and helping others conquer theirs has made me a better manager. While this was definitely a season of management, it has taught me so much about my capacity and what God is capable of doing in my life when I release the aspects of life of which I have no control, and just like let go and let God as the hubby so eloquently puts it.

I hope this empowers you this month because truly anything is possible. We have to believe and we have to move. Remember, motivation derives from being in motion. We have to move with a sense of urgency and intention, and that’s what I’ve been doing.

All of this, from moving from Pittsburgh to El Paso, applying to dozens of jobs, onboarding new clients, onboarding a new intern, managing design projects, getting hired, taking a week-long trip to Las Vegas to attend expos, flying from Vegas to El Paso, packing up my car, driving from El Paso to Atlanta with stops in Dallas and Memphis, finding a realtor, finding a home, going under contract, etc. All of this happened in a month’s time. 🤯🥴

And no:

My routines couldn’t save me.

My boundaries couldn’t save me.

My plans were altered

Dreams were reimagined

Systems were temporarily disrupted

I’m talking about my self care systems, my personal systems, and my professional systems, they were all disrupted during this time, but somehow, shit still got done. I believe that is deeply rooted in the fact that I’ve done the CONQUERing part so many times before, that when I enter into a season, where all I can do is manage, I’ve become a better manager as a result.

And again, God! I can’t stress that enough, because all of this was divine timing and alignment. I simply can’t take credit for everything. But I just wanted to share this with you, because I want you to know that sometimes productivity isn’t pretty. Sometimes, productivity is rough around the edges. Sometimes, productivity is just plain ugly. I don’t know how else to describe it.

I want you to know that even though we talk about the CONQUER Method as it relates to: customizing your rebel routines; overcoming your overwhelm by establishing boundaries; narrowing your focus; quit prioritizing shallow tasks; up-leveling your systems; elevating and evaluating your environment; and recording your efforts daily, that’s the pretty way to do productivity.

But sometimes, we have to get real ugly with it, if that makes sense. 😅

I hope this is really resonating with you, because I don’t ever want you to feel like as you’re going through your day, week, and month, and things are starting to feel of out of control that you have to abandon all ambitions, throw all the goals away, and just give up.

No, just keep moving and play the cards you’ve been dealt. Focus on all of the things you can control. Move within the parameters that have been set and don’t be afraid to let go and let God do the rest. I hope right now you’re thinking:

Thank you, Kierra. Thank you for giving me permission to simply manage my chaos.

Now, I do want you to hear what I said before, the only reason I was able to be a better manager of my chaos is because I’ve CONQUERed my chaos so many times before using my signature CONQUER method.

When the CONQUER method is woven into the fabric of your day to day life, it is really hard to abandon those habits whenever chaos decides to knock on your door. So, what you’re going to do is greet that chaos with open arms because you know, that it’s temporary. You know that you’re not going to be in this state of chaos forever.

But a lot of you right now are not even managing your chaos. You’re getting swallowed up by it. It’s consuming you. Your chaos is consuming you and so if you want to be prepared to manage chaos when you have no other option, my advice is to learn how to CONQUER it and the way to do that is to follow the CONQUER Method and that is why I created the CONQUER Your Chaos Crash Course so that you can be equipped with the tools you need to reclaim your most precious commodities: your time, your energy, and your attention.

I want you to go check out the Conquer your Chaos Crash Course by clicking here, because I designed it for those of you who are being consumed by your chaos. You’re not managing it well, you’re definitely not conquering it, you’re being consumed by it and I want to help! Why? Because, I know what’s on the other side of action for you. I know the relief you’re going to feel at the end of the course, because it’s what so many of my clients have felt.

Take my client Laurelle for example, she said,

Thank you for helping me focus and become more consistent. You’ve actively listened and allowed me to give you a backstory on how I’ve ended up here, I’m excited to have someone like you who understands exactly where I am, and knows how to help me make a difference in other’s lives. Without feeling clueless as to what task I should be tackling, I appreciate your transparency, and the energy that you bring on every call. I’m excited about my new productive lifestyle, I now know about the things that can be simplified, and my overwhelm can be conquered.

Charnae said,

5/5 life changing beyond my expectations! This course has really opened my mind to recognizing the countless possibilities that each day holds when you become intentional with how you spend your time, energy and attention. Before going through this course, I felt stuck as if I was going through the motions. The amazing coaching I received from Kierra really helped me pay closer attention to how I spent my time as a result, it changed my relationship with time and productivity. I used to think productivity was equivalent to just checking tasks off the To-Do lists, but I realized it encompasses so much more than that.

There you have it, folks, this course has already changed the lives of so many of my clients, and I know that it can do the same for you. So don’t delay. Go ahead and enroll in CONQUER Your Chaos Crash Course today. I promise you will not regret it. I hope this article really inspires you to continue to move forward on your journey.

If you made it this far, you’re the real MVP.

CONTINUE READING

A close-up picture of someone writing his/her to d list.

Why You Should Stop Writing To-Do Lists (and do THIS instead)

Let me guess…

There’s another crumbled-up to-do list on your desk. The ambitions? Abandoned hours ago.

You feel you should have gotten so much more done, but…

At the end of the day, you have no idea where the time went!

The next day. Same thing. You write out all of your ambitions. Item by item. You do everything in your power to cross it all off, but life inevitably gets in the way.

A week goes by. You’re feeling defeated. The needle barely moved. You had the best intentions, but time got away and now you’re behind on your most important tasks.

You chalk it up to it just being “a busy week.” You vow to start fresh on Monday…

And the cycle continues.

 

The truth:

You need to stop writing to-do lists. They work for some people, but clearly not you and that’s okay because…

You can try a new approach. Something a little more radical and “in your face.”

But first, let’s take a quick moment to understand why to-do lists may not be working for you…

 

The Biggest Mistake You’re Making With Your To-Do Lists

This may be a hard pill to swallow, but…

Half the shit you’ve written down on that lists are irrelevant time wasters.

Hear me out!

Most people “co-mingle” their needle-moving and shallow tasks by putting them all on the same list.

Next thing you know,

 

You’re giving precious T.E.A. 🍵 (Time, Energy, & Attention) to tasks that are:

  1. Outside your zone of genius &…
  2. Don’t move the needle for you towards your big goals

 

Not understanding which tasks are needle-moving and which tasks are shallow can cause you to dedicate the most productive hours of the day to tasks that could wait.

In Module 3 of CONQUER Your Chaos Crash Course: Narrow Your Focus, I discuss this in detail.

The point here is, your to-do lists are likely filled with items you have no business doing 💁🏾‍♀️.

Which leads me to my next point…

 

How to Identify Your Needle-Moving Tasks

When determining what needs to get done and when you have to understand your “zone of genius”.

A term famously coined by the author of The Big Leap, Gay Hendricks.

I define your “zone of genius” tasks as tasks that require your unique set of skills and knowledge.

The tasks can’t simply be delegated to someone else or automated using some software.

They are tasks that require your full attention and if it doesn’t get done, it affects other parts of your agenda.

When you think of it this way, it should be easier to identify the most important items on your to-do lists.

But remember, this was about kicking your to-do lists to the curb in favor of a more radical approach…

 

Do This Instead…

Now that you understand how to identify the “needle-moving” tasks on your to-do lists…

Take those tasks and add them directly to your Google Calendar- alarm, time block, and all!

This is about doing what you said you would do when you said you’d do it.

 

This eliminates many of the excuses like:

  • “Someone booked me last minute so I couldn’t get to it.”
  • “It slipped my mind because I was so swamped with other things”
  • “I had an appointment I forgot about.”

 

When you make an appointment with yourself to complete a to-do list item three powerful things happen:

  1. Your calendar blocks that time off and eliminates the chance of you or someone else double booking that time allotted to the task.
  2. You get a reminder or alert telling you it’s time to do what you said you were going to do.
  3. You can see it ahead of time and plan to deal with shallow tasks that come up AFTER the designated time.

 

This will take some getting used to, but it can be effective.

 

Think about it:

We’re so conditioned to add meetings with others to our calendars with alerts so we won’t forget. Why not add meetings with ourselves to get our most pressing tasks done.

Seriously, our agenda has to come first or someone else will make us prioritize their agenda.

At some point, we have to grant ourselves permission to pivot our processes when they no longer work for us.

If you’re failing at the game of to-do lists. It’s time to do shit differently.

Want to learn more about reclaiming your T.E.A. and getting the RIGHT things done, at the RIGHT time, for the RIGHT reasons? Click here for an inside peek at my flagship program: CONQUER Your Chaos Crash Course.

CONTINUE READING

After facilitating over 200+ breakthroughs with course creators and hosting luxe VIP Day experiences with entrepreneurs at the top of their game, I was able to create a system that hits all the right spots for someone like you striving to build a profitable, productive, and unconventional business.

My clients are reclaiming their time, energy, and attention, designing unique business models that fit their ideal lifestyle, and creating signature systems that get their clients results, ditching programs and toxic thought patterns that no longer serve them, and finally enjoying the entrepreneurial journey.

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